Easy
It all began with a sticky note. Earlier on in the day, I had written an important phone number on this sticky note and put it in my purse. Later on in the day, I go to retrieve this sticky note and cannot find it. Luckily for me, I had some how memorized the number and was still able to make the call. Thus, I completely forget about this missing sticky note.
Now, in the afternoon, I decide to go and pick up our community pool key. Here I am, standing in line and this gentleman taps me on the shoulder and says
“Umm ... excuse me but you have uh something stuck to your uh …” and points to my bottom. WHAT?!
I do the whole turn and look thing, thus sort of spinning around. I cannot see this ‘thing’ stuck to me. I do a completely awkward move to check out my own ass. I see it. That flippin’ sticky note. Seriously, wanted to just cry and laugh all at the same time. Instead, I just say something stupid, “Oh! I was looking for that!” Ugh.
Then the tall comments start, as I ask for my key.
Evil HOA Lady: Wow, you’re really tall.
Me: Yup. (I am not in the mood to be friendly)
Evil HOA Lady: How tall are you? 6’0?
Me: Hah, I wish. No, 6’3”
Evil HOA Lady: Really, that tall, huh?
Me: Yes (Why would I lie??)
Evil HOA Lady: Ok, what is your last name?
Me: (now this mess will begin, you have no idea how many times I need to explain my surname to someone. Why is it their business anyway?) It’s ‘Whatever-Blah’
Evil HOA Lady: Humm, would it be under 'Whatever' or under 'Blah'?
Me: It’s a double-barreled last name.
Evil HOA Lady: It’s a what?
Me: (Forgetting they don’t use that term here) it’s hyphenated
Evil HOA Lady: Oh, so 'Whatever' is your maiden name?
Me: No, actually it’s XXXXX; 'Whatever-Blah' is my married name. My husband has the same surname.
Evil HOA Lady: Really? That’s interesting.
Me: It’s his English and Scottish last names and they are just hyphenated.
Evil HOA Lady: Well my last name …… (at this point I tune her out and just want my key and get the heck outta dodge)
Evil HOA Lady: Well, I cannot find your name under 'Whatever' or 'Blah', so why don’t you give me your information and we’ll submit a request for a key.
Me: I’ve lived here for 5 years, I am on the list. Do you mind if I look?
(Evil HOA Lady hands me the list)
Me: Look, my name is RIGHT HERE (pointing to my name)
Evil HOA Lady: Oh haha! I guess I just missed it.
Lucky me, within the span of 10 minutes someone points out that I have something stuck to my butt, I get questioned about my height and then harassed about my married surname. Yes sir, lucky me.