Amusement From Above

I have this thing, that my parents named ‘Anxiousitis’. I had it as a child and I still have it now. It won’t go away and really causes me tremendous problems. It usually occurs when I travel. Seeing as I do travel quite a bit, one would think I’d have figured a way to combat it. I have not.

I have been doing well with it, for this trip, and am glad it’s not as severe as it could be. In the past I’ve not really talked about it, as to me I find it just to be a big sign of weakness.

I know in my head that everything will be fine. There will be no plane crashes, delays, car accidents, lost baggage, being held at Customs, etc. And I know that most of those (except the plane crash or accident) I can resolve and move on. My brain knows this, yet the rest of me doesn’t. This then causes the huge tight knot in my stomach, food is revolting and the smell of it usually makes me nauseous, I can’t concentrate or sleep and I get nasty headaches. Also, my throat tightens, therefore making it even more impossible to eat. And once the whole ‘not eating’ thing happens; it just makes everything else worse, as I have no sustenance. It really is a vicious cycle. I also like to make sure that if I come home in a pine box, I know that certain things will be taken care of. This usually freaks out my friends and family, but really it makes me feel better.

This ‘Anxiousitis’ usually subsides once I am on the plane and it certainly gone once I’ve landed. Rarely do I get it when returning home from a trip. It’s still there but really it’s quite manageable.

I don’t know if anyone else really suffers from this and how they control it (other than Valium, muscle relaxers, Xanax, etc). I sometimes think that if I let ‘it’ win, I’d stop traveling all together. I won’t let it win.

Moving on, we are leaving tomorrow morning. Not sure if I will blog but I will have access to my e-mail. Hopefully, these nasty Denver winds will die down by tomorrow morning as well. I certainly don’t need to add ‘microbursts’ to my worries.

On that note – talk to you all when we return on June 25th!