http://www.longtallsally.com/

And the great thing is, they ship to the US, as well

I feel most expect, at least some of these things: to grow up, have fun, meet someone, get married, buy a home, have children, go places, have parties, and just be. We all expect to continue breathing...

What we don't expect are those things that mess up these plans. I'm not thinking of those minor life curve balls. It's those big ones, the ones that really alter the course of your life.

I pray and hope that I don't have to go my cousins wedding and funeral within 6 months of each other. My cousin, Jake, recently got married, went to Iraq for 5 months, came home and found out he has germ cell cancer. He had a tumor the size of a brick taken out of his abdomen. He's 26. It doesn't look good.

He's a tough kid, but heck, what are you meant to do when this comes up out of the blue? My Aunt, Uncle and cousin (Jake's parents and brother) were here in Colorado a few weeks ago, when Jake first went into the hospital. I tried to reassure my Aunt that it was probably nothing big and it wasn't cancer. I didn't know what else to say? How do you say 'Everything will be fine' when you know deep down something is very wrong?

I also have a dear Uncle who has been battling Cancer for almost 2 years now and it's not improving. It's so hard to watch and hear about the struggle.

This makes all the 'health' issues that James and I have been dealing with just so simply pale in comparison. I blame ... I think ...what if I/we had done this? What if we went to Church more than once a year, would God be happy with us? What if I ate healthier? What if I didn't have that last drink? What if .... What if it all really goes south? Then what do we do?

These expectations are breaking and how do we get back to them?

Jake and Uncle Don, we pray for you. I wish I could do more than just cry and pray. I've cried enough recently and I just want you both to be wonderfully happy and healthy again.

Peter, David and Jake

Alas, no such luck. Although, I am now officially a Godmother. Yup, my littlest nephew Ethan is my godson. As he is being raised Catholic, I participated in my first mass and Catholic baptism. Such a fuss really!! Walking up and down, doing crosses in his forehead, lots of water pouring, candle lighting and presenting the Father with gifts (communion). But overall, little Ethan was a good 'en and behaved. Sadly, I think the camera only lasted for one photo, which I haven't even seen yet.

Wallpaper is another reason for this exhaustion. It's taken me almost a month now to get all that shit off the walls. And this room only has four of them.

Lots of going out with p-a ... going to Sushi Den soon I believe...

Anyway, that's it for now, just to let you (few) know I am still breathing.

I've been eating, a lot. Not that I don't normally eat but not to this excess. The other week P-A (along with a bunch of others) went to Nine 75. It was ok. The best part of the evening was having two lovely The Cloud nine drinks. This drink comes with a side of cotton candy, which you drop into the glass and thus melts. It's really a neat idea and very tasty.

I probably wouldn't go back though. The food, really, not the greatest.

Last Thursday, just P-A and I went to Bloom. Now this was delish. The Flirtini went down, way too easily and the Bars of Sin.

Oh.My.God. One of the best desserts I've had in a really long time.

Next week, it's off to the Kabob Station for a bit of Middle Eastern tastiness.

Surprisingly, not a single person commented on the height thing. Well, none that I could hear at least.

... hungry ...

It's not bad, necessarily, maybe I'd miss it when it's (perhaps) one day gone? I doubt it will ever go away though, it's engrained into my head - heart - but it's making me wither a bit.

My (our) secret, I don't know how long I can bear this. I keep finding myself slipping and just so desperately wanting to talk to someone about this thing. I need a stranger to tell - someone who won't ask questions, give hassle or be judging. Someone who won't tell me to just relax and not worry/think about this thing. This thing that is haunting me. I've been here many times before and the worst thing is, I know it will be back, wrapping me up in it's ways, giving me these illusions.

This wee little secret, please let me one day share you. Until then, I just need to remember that I - we - will keep breathing and the most important person in my life is here for me.

All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade. Fuel - Shimmer.

I am still exhausted from skiing (ok it was only one day but still). We all had a nice time skiing together and am sad that my Dad has gone back to MI. Although, in March, my Dad, Aunt, Uncle and cousin will be out to do more skiing. Then in April, Mom and Dad will be out here for a week.

... need help stripping all this miserable wallpaper ... Mom??

Bollocks.

Any offers of help? I will repay with booze and such.

I have some funny "Tall Tales" to post soon ...

I started all over and at least now I can publish things without silly errors.

When I have more time (and patience) I will re-design this bad boy. Until that time, it's just boring, weird looking ... this.

I walk in the door today and hear water running. My first thought is the toilet is just running. Go into the bathroom, nope. Go into the laundry room, the utility sink cold water faucet is turned on and running, almost to the max. Call James, did you leave the sink on? No. I believe him as I dont think he has set foot in the laundry YET. So, why would he go in there now? We didn't turn the security system on this morning, so ADT couldn't tell us if a door/window was opened.

Now, this has happened before. In our townhouse, James and I had just gotten into bed and we hear water. We look at each other then look across the room and the sink is running. We just stare at eachother really freaked out, because neither of us were near it and it just turned on, on it's own.

When we lived in Greeley, we heard strange voices, windows would open on their own, things would move. One friend who spent the night, said he felt something weird all night and just was really freaked out. He swore he'd never set foot in our place again. He never knew about all the other weird things that happened.

So, today, I call my Dad (who works for a electric/water utility comp). He says there is really NO way the faucet could turn on by itself. Someone must have turned it on. We go over who could have. No one else has a key, other than James and I (and possibly the previous owners). No one knows our garage door code. All the doors and windows were locked when I came home. Nothing was taken. Nothing has been moved.

I google "water mysteriously turning on" and everything leads to 'GHOSTS".

So I am really starting to believe this ghost is following us. I wish it would leave though. If it's not the ghost, then watch out, we have really big guns. The security system will be set FOR SURE from now on. No one comes into my house without my permission.... Ah, if only Pumpkin could talk.

Has this happened to anyone else??

Things are still so hectic these days, our housewarming party was a success, despite the blizzard that day. We had a surprise visit, my parents flew into town for the party!! This was a completly wonderful surprise!! It was great that they got to see the new place.

Well write more again soon when I am no longer ill.

This is sweet.