What are you doing way up there?
You crossed that line.
You can't come back.
Feels like you made a mistake.
I walk in and stand in line. I am wearing tennis shoes, therefore only about 6'3" ½. This man walks over to me…
He: How old are you?
Me: Um, excuse me?
He: How old are you?
Me: Ahem, 25.
He: No way, you're too tall to be that old
Me: (Very confused by this idiot) Well I am, and look (Holding out my hand) I am married too.
He: You can't be that old, you look like you're in High School
Me: (Thinking should I be flattered or upset by this?) No, well I am 25. (Now getting pissed off this
guy is bothering me and ready to pull out my drivers license to prove my age)
He: How tall are you? Do you play basketball?
Me: I am 6'3" and no I don't. I work, I am not in school.
He: How did you get to be so tall?
Me: I don't know, I grew I suppose
(Now what I assume are his wife and small kids gather around – Starting to make a scene here in Noodles
and all I wanted was a damn take-away, not an inquest into my age and height)
Kid: You're tall.
Me: (Bend down to the little kid) Just think if you eat right and drink all your milk, you could grow
to be this tall too!
He: No honey, you don’t want to be that tall (Now this was said in a rude and hurtful way)
Me: (Wishing my husband were here to kick this guy into tomorrow) Yes well … (wander up to the counter to order finally)
Noodles Guy: (Looking at me with pity) Can I take your order please?
Me: (F***) See what I have to deal with?
Scene: The Dentists office
I sit down across from an older gentleman in the waiting room
He: How tall are you? (This is not prefaced with “Can I ask you a
question?” or “Do you mind me asking?”)
Me: Oh about 6’3”, but I have heels on today so about 6’5”.
He: Did you play basketball?
Me: No, not coordinated enough.
He: Well I used to be a basketball coach.
Me: Well that’s great.
He: You should play basketball.
Me: (Thinking – “I’ve already told you I wasn’t coordinated
enough!”) Well, I am too old now.
He: No, I think you should play, try out for the WNBA.
Me: Haha, don’t you have to have been playing since you were
young and have skills?
He: No, your height alone is good enough.
Me: (Thinking – “Oh great, I can just stand around the court
looking like an idiot.”)
He: Do you have kids?
Me: No, I don’t. But I have a dog.
He: I bet they will be tall.
Me: (Thinking – You think?!)
He: Where are you from?
Me: Michigan
He: Oh, I’ve been there once. No actually I’ve been to Lake
Michigan but I was in Wisconsin.
Me: (Thinking – “So your saying that you HAVEN’T been to
Michigan.”) I miss the lake.
He: It’s very lush there isn’t it? Lots of trees and green?
Me: Oh yes, and a lot of mosquitoes too! Haha.
He: Oh.
He: Are your parents tall?
Me: (Thinking – “Oh god, not this question! I am so tired of
explaining it!”)
Thankfully, my name was called and I no longer needed to participate in this conversation. While this older gentleman was very nice and pleasant, I really just was not in the mood. There were several other comments which were said by him, but my memory is failing me now.
And I am wearing flat shoes!
Checkout Girl: May I ask how tall you are?
Me: (No you can't but I what am I suppose to reply with? No?
Then you will over charge me) I am 6'3".
Checkout Girl: Wow, that's so cool
Me: Yeah. (Thinking - And you're so cool because
you work at Walgreen's and are about 5'5". I don't really understand why
people say "That's so cool" or "That's great", etc. Is it really
all that cool or great? I am not about to tell someone who is 5' or
300lbs, "WOW! That is so great, you are incredibly short" or "WOW! You
are so fat, that's just so cool".)
Me: It's not so cool when it comes to trying to find clothes.
Checkout Girl: You should try those country western stores, they
usually have tall people clothes.
Me: (Now I am INCREDIBLY insulted for the following three
reasons)
#1 - Do I LOOK like I would shop at a country western store?
#2 - Those stores sell tall clothes usually for MEN.
#3 - Checkout girl, you are about 5'5" how the $@!# would you know where
to find clothes that would fit me? Shut up.
Again, wearing flat shoes
Little Girl: (Taps her older brother) Look, Look! (Then points at me)
Me: (I smile at her, politely.)
Little Girl: Look! (Older brother glances quickly and turns back around again) She's so tall!
(At this point the Mom, turns around, looks at me and turns back.)
Little Girl: Mom, look at her. (Then proceeds to whisper something into her Mom's ear. Mom turns and looks at me again)
Mom: I am sorry... I have a brother who is really tall, they do this with him too,
Me: Oh it's ok, no worries. (I say to the little girl) Would you like to be this tall one day?
(Little girl immediately shuts up, Mom looks at me like I just slapped her little girl and walks out)
Me: (Well $@!# you too!)
Me: (I feel someone tap my shoulder)
Wannabe Ski Bunny: Excuse me sir, can you help me buckle my boots?
Me: (Too stunned to really turn around. I know I am all suited up in snow gear and am tall but SIR? My friends are looking at me like, “What the heck are you going to say’)
Me: Uhhhhh
Male Friend: Oh here, let me help you
Wannabe Snow Bunny: Oh my, (realizing I am female) I am so sorry. You’re just so tall, I just thought ….
Me: It’s ok; I suppose it’s hard to tell when I am covered in ski gear. (But secretly wanting to scream at her. I mean HOW RUDE)
Wannabe Snow Bunny: (She is still mumbling excuses and going on about the tall people she knows)
Me: (Am not really paying attention, I don’t care to know about the tall people she knows and am still seething from being confused for a MAN).
Later on, I ran into the same lady in the women’s (Obviously) bathroom and she looked me up and down, just to make sure that I really WAS a female. What a #$@*!
I just sit down in my horribly cramped seat and I feel a tap on my shoulder and this trailer park lady starts talking to me.
TP Lady: Holy cow, you are so tall!
Me: (peering through the seats back at her) Yes, I am. (Wait for it…here it comes)
TP Lady: How tall are you?
Me: 6’3”.
TP Lady: I am only 5’5”, you are just so tall. I saw that you had to duck under the TV screens.
Me: Yes, otherwise I would hit my head. Planes are not made with tall people in mind.
TP Lady: I cannot believe you are so tall. How old are you?
Me: (Wondering why people always ask me that?! As if being tall has something to do with age) I am 26.
TP Lady: I have a brother that is tall. I didn’t get any of his height.
Me: (Here we go … I just love when perfect strangers decide to tell me all about their tall brothers, sisters, aunts, cousins, uncles, parents, parents cousins nieces nephew, dogs and how little Johnny is just going to grow up to be so big). Uh huh
TP Lady: (now including her other trailer park travel companions, most of which are missing their teeth) Bubba here is pretty tall.
Me: That’s just great (Now turning around in hopes she will leave me alone)
TP Lady: (Tap, Tap) How tall is he? (Pointing to J)
Me: 6’4”
(Thankfully the Flight Attendants start talking and I can end this stupid conversation. But for the rest of the flight I can hear the trailer parkers talking about being tall. Lovely)
I walk up to the opposing team
Tennis Lady: Your tall!
Me: Hi, I am Rebecca. (Why can’t people greet normally? I mean, I didn’t say to her “You have really big saggy boobs!”)
Tennis Lady: How tall are you?
Me: 6’3”, which courts are we playing on?
Tennis Lady: Over there (pointing). Are your parents tall?
Me: Yes, what court am I assigned to?
Tennis Lady: You are playing Lisa, she is short!
Me: (Wow, that’s great *Sarcasm*)
Man speaking to Lady
Man: Wow, they are going to have some tall children!
Lady: She is so tall!
May I remind the public, that tall people are not automatically DEAF. We CAN and WILL hear you.
I am greeted by a girl about my age and am asked to follow her. Immediately, I get this:
Hygienist Girl: You are tall.
Me: (I smile)
Hygienist Girl: How tall are you?
Me: About 6’3”. (I sit down in the dentist chair)
Hygienist Girl: Wow, you almost don’t fit! Your legs are way off the end of the chair.
Me: (Initially thinking she was implying I am fat. I’m only 137lbs I scream in my head) Uh huh.
Hygienist Girl: Open up! (proceeds to put her latex overdose gloves in my mouth). So do you have a hard time finding clothes?
Me: Mmmuggggggguuuuhhhhhhhh
Hygienist Girl: My fiancée is tall; he is like 5’10”.
Me: Mmmuggggggguuuuhhhhhhhh (Thinking, you horrible woman, your hands and metal torture tools are in my mouth, please STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS)
Hygienist Girl: Is your husband tall? He must be.
Me: (Nodding) Mmmuggggggguuuuhhhhhhhh
Hygienist Girl: How long have you been married? Did you have a hard time finding a wedding dress because you’re so tall?
Me: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Hygienist Girl: Do you have kids? I bet they are tall.
Me: (Finally she removes her hands from my mouth) No kids.
Hygienist Girl: (places horrible metal things practically down my throat) I am sure they will be very tall. Do you play basketball?
Me: (Contemplating biting down VERY HARD while her hand is still in my mouth, or spitting on her protective glasses)
Finally, she is done with my teeth cleaning, but she is NOT done jabbering on about my height. Want to slap her, but as I am very polite and kind, I just smile and nod in response to all of her idiotic questions.